Where do I start from?

Monday morning, He went to work. I’m all alone in our new semi-furnished apartment. Moving from one to another part of the world is actually quite expensive sport, so at the moment we could only afford to buy furniture for bedroom. It will take us at least another two months to settle our household but it’s really not a problem, it’s somehow romantic to have our candle dinners on the floor…

Anyway, He went to work and I feel little bit lost… nothing is waiting for me to be done, no friends to call or see, no mails or phone calls to answer … and it ‘s very strange feeling for somebody who spent last 10 years with phone beside the bed for any kind of work emergency…

Having a chance to start a new life in more developed country is like a dream come true but now when it finally happened I can’t help feeling little bit insecure about what tomorrow will bring…

But, how can I be afraid of anything if my thoughts are shaping my destiny?

Well, looks like it is a concept much easier said than completely understood because in this moment I have million unanswered questions that are bombarding my mind: will I fit in this environment, will I ever again have a job that I actually like doing or I’ll forget who I was and become simply a housewife, will I earn the way I use to, will I manage to travel back home enough times a year so that I still feel part of my family, will I manage to build new friendships, is it possible to build new honest friendships in mid thirties…

I have to stop this nonsense that is going through my head, this fearfully mindset can’t help me…

Then I came across this article:

http://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2013/08/daily-chart-19

“But hey, I’m in Melbourne… I’m in the most liveable city in the world… and I should feel gratitude not fear!!!” – I screamed at the mirror, twice… but the part of me who is lost without direction, the one that goes into panic mode when her calendar is empty looked at me with assuring air of somebody who is not leaving that easily…

And there we were: insecure and secure parts of myself facing each other like two gentlemen before the duel…

 

Decided to go for a walk and soon I found myself on Federation Square. Vow, what a vibrant place, what a mix of cultures, it feels good just to sit here and for a moment that I’m part of this cosmopolitan city… No wonder this square is internationally recognised for its award-winning architectural design…

It’s a must see/feel place:  where you can enjoy free Wi-Fi; international cuisine including Australian, Northern Chinese, Japanese and Italian; you can rent a bike or Melbourne river cruise or simply visit some of 2000 events that are held here yearly and which includes festivals, markets, fashion shows, public lectures, films and concerts. 

Street artist is singing my favourite song: Bob Marley’s Redemption song and I feel as Universe is letting me know that I’m in the right place at the right moment. Fear is leaving me in peace as I’m soaking into positive vibe this place has… with every breath I take I feel more secure in myself, in my capacities to make it…oh yes, I feel my potential will be recognised in this city with busy streets, amazing food (especially for vegetarians), accessible and on time transport, incredible sand beach that has no ending and all other things that I really like.

I’m not fooling myself, I’m aware of struggle that is still in front of me but I feel strong and good about it… … as Bob well said it :

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our mind”

And that is where I will start from, so Life… just bring it on…